Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
