meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
