Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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