I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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