You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
