My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
