your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
