winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
