oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize