Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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