Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize