found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
