And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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