Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
