did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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