New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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