and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
