i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
