I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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