I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
