I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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