She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
