I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
