dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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