I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize