There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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