I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
