you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
