some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
