So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Can Purell be used as lube?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
