I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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