Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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