Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
