I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
