I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize