What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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