You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
