Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
