If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
