It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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