Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
