I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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