I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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