Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
he had hair everywhere except his balls
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
