plz talk dirty to me
this beer tastes like vomit already
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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