Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
