xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
