Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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