She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
