who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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