The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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