My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
