we're blogging at a bar
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize