I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
