What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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