apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
