somebody snuck up and got me drunk
accomplished twins. life is a go
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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