ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
