I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
